The witty comeback works because it is implying that the persons d is dirty and you dont want to be anywhere near it. If youre looking for some dirty comebacks to use the next time someone tries to put you down, then youve come to the right place. Now I have a much lower opinion of you. I wish your charm could be bottled then a cork could be put on it. I would ask you how old you are, but I know you cant count that high. I would like the pleasure of your company, but it only gives me displeasure. I would love to beat you up, but I have a problem with cruelty to dumb animals. I would say that you are barking up the wrong tree, but that is your natural voice. Guy: Hey cutie, how bout you and I hitting the hot spots?Girl: Sorry, I dont date outside my species. you just live. Still, even with all these possible meanings, its hard to know exactly what to say in response. You know what an asshole is, right? People clap when they see you. I am sorry. Dont be ashamed of who you are. There have been new tracks added. Tomorrow isnt looking good either. Your presence keeps covering it up. Not at all gross today. 24 Dirty pictures to excite your dirty mind. 70. I cant suck something that doesnt exist. Have you always been a fool, or did you make an extra effort today? 25 Phrases That Stop Bullies in Their Tracks. Why can you be such an idiot? You'd leave if I threw a stick, right? 35. 25 Savage Comebacks Found In the Comments 14,765. Do you practice being stupid, or does it come naturally. Your kid is so annoying he makes his Happy Meal cry. The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's butt and wait. Im an acquired taste. Is that a scar on your face? "I'm glad your comfortable with your weight." 62. 59. 69. 13. 20. 1. The world is crowded. Can I ignore you another time? Our kid must have gotten his brain from you! He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face. Don't hold yourself back from saying what you're thinking. 94. you grow on people But then again, so does cancer. Your secrets are always safe with me. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by suggesting that you go on a date together first before you will suck anything. The freak flags fly high with these gutter minded individuals. I dont have the patience or the crayons to explain this to you. How did you get here? Dont be ashamed of who you are. You have your entire life to be a jerk.Why not take today off? Dont you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning? If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant. Seeing as not everyone can be articulate on the fly, having a list of sharp and clever comebacks in reserve could do wonders to your banter game. Keep talkingI'm diagnosing you. And someone tried to get a baseball bat. Too bad nobody else does. I love what youve done with your hair.
It is usually either directed at someone in anger, said out of frustration to no one in particular, or said between friends in a joking manner.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-banner-1','ezslot_8',107,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-banner-1-0'); The short answer is, yes. Guy: Is this seat empty?Girl: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down. I dont know what your problem is, but Im guessing its hard to pronounce. 17. Nah, youll be fine. Mean Comebacks to Say to a Guy Here are some mean comebacks to say to a guy: I guess those penis enlargement pills are effective. If your brain were dynamite, there wouldnt be enough to blow your hat off. Oh wait, its not coming off. Here, let me wash the stupid right off of you. I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won. I know you are nobodys fool, but maybe someone will adopt you. I refuse to engage in a battle of wits, as I will not take advantage of the handicapped. I reprimanded my brother for mimicking you. Missing you that doesnt exist makes me want to help myself. Back to The Comebacks Soundbytes. Thats the essence of it.. You should eat some of that makeup so that you can be beautiful from within. Keep rolling your eyes, perhaps you'll find a brain back there. 7. Sign up to receive the latest and greatest articles from our site automatically each week (give or take)right to your inbox. 73. You are so old, your birth-certificate expired. Boy: "Life's a bitch, just like you." We think of you when we are lonely. I treasure the time I dont spend with you. Dont you think Im pretty now? I now have a much lower opinion than yours. Girl: "Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? That hurt almost as much as looking at your face. If you dont want a sarcastic answer, dont ask a stupid question. Only someone as dirty-minded as you would interpret it that way. He believes that knowledge can change the world and be used to inspire and empower young people to build the life of their dreams. Damn it, why didnt she think of it earlier! You make me increase the amount of caffeine I take daily. Seriously, your mouth is so foul! Ive been called worse things by better people. When it comes to a good comeback the delivery is key. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room. The greatest loss is you. Heres a tissue, you have a little piece of sh*t on your lips. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. You are like a cloud. You're just mad that your dad's pussy is pinker than yours. Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you? But it seems that you already have. This is why everyone talks behind your back. Go right in. When you go to the mind reader, do you get half price? When you pass away and people ask me what the cause of your death was, Ill say it was your stupidity. When you talk, other people get hoarse just listening. Why dont you go to the library and brush up on your ignorance? Why dont you slip into something more comfortable like a coma. Talking is cheapbut then again, so are you. Hi! Remember that time you were saying that thing I didnt care about? You have so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail. Feb 15, 2013 - Image discovered by Ins. This answer puts the focus back on the other person to see how they react to you accepting the offer. Are you a haunted house? When you disappear, its a beautiful day. He was so narrow-minded. In the land of the witless, you would be king. Then you will be ready to win every argument. I would like to leave you with one thought, but Im not sure if you have anywhere to store it in. If you only see 41, clear your browser cache! If you are gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty. I want you to leave. I would prefer a battle of wits, but you appear unarmed. Q: What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman? Oh! 37. Youre a conversation starter. Youre basically bathed in oil. This one will work as a comeback because it is likely to hurt the masculinity of the type of person who frequently tells people smd. I was caught selling ice." The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. 100 of the funniest dirty jokes that will make you laugh and gasp "Sex is like playing Bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand" (Photo: Getty Image) By Alex. Finally! Girl: Shut up. Were you born on the highway? No way, I dont know where that thing has been! obsessed by sex. Your secrets are always safe with me. Youre the reason they invented double doors. 2. How did you get here? Ill bet your voice causes a seizure. Wife: "I have changed my mind." I can lose weight, but youll always be ugly. 51. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by presenting the next step to make it happen. So go out there and show them whos boss! 55 Good Roasts. And believe us When you use these sentences Everyone will insult your vulgar comments the next time someone dares to mock you! Are you a haunted house? Sometimes, I wish I was deaf so your grammar wouldnt bother me so much. But I hope you keep the receipt. No thanks, I have a toothpick already. Trick Tupac Died & He Still Dropping Songs .. Stop Playing With Me You might find it interesting: 27+ Savage Comebacks when Someone Insults You. Ive met several pricks before, but you sir are a cactus. Im lonely, not desperate. Guy: Do you want to dance?Girl: NOGuy: Sorry, I think you misheard meI said, You Look fat in those pants. Some people may have thyroid problems. I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral. Guy: Hey, baby, Whats your sign?Girl: Stop. / If youre going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb to your ego and jump to your IQ. 2. "Shouldn't you be out on a ledge somewhere?" Are you a drill sergeant? You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. Youre living proof its possible to live without a brain. Son: "Not enough I have to go back again tomorrow." You're twice the d*ck you were yesterday. I was trying to look like you today. Amazing Comebacks Image discovered by Therese Ericsson. If we continue talking to each other, I might end up dead. Your mind is on vacation but your mouth is working overtime. Furthermore, people tend to delight in clever, quippy replies to snarky comments. I know I make stupid choices, but you're the worst of all my choices. Do you see the light at the end of the tunnel? Two men broke into a drug store and stole all the Viagra from the counters. Im sorry, I didnt realize you were an expert on the subject. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet. I see no evil, and I definitely dont hear your evil. I am returning your nose. Whats wrong? Its good that you dont let education get in the way of your ignorance. Make sure you commit these to memory. "That's not what your momma said." Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you? Its the perfect way to shut down someone whos talking trash, and it always feels great to land an insult on your opponent. Our kid must have gotten his brain from you! Yes, I talk like an Idiot. If you were twice as smart, you'd still be . If you did, be sure to share them with your friends. Is it your duty to spread ignorance? I would never date you. I was just about to poison the tea. I hope you understand that everyone is just putting up with you. ", Yo Momma Jokes 47. Spending time with friends and family. 8. If laughter is the best medicine Your face must save the world. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. I do not consider you a vulture. 6789 Quail Hill Pkwy, Suite 211 Irvine CA 92603. Can we normalize telling you that you arent so wonderful. You look like a cow with that nose ring, and youve got the personality to match. Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. Of course, when you use your comebacks, you must be strategic. "I'm sorry, I don't speak with the piece of shit that I dodge on the sidewalk." Are you sure? Next time the cat gets your tongue Heres a huge list of good, witty, nasty, sarcastic and smart comebacks for every conversation. My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle. When life gives us those lemons, we will be sure to use them, okay? "If I wanted my own comeback, I would've wiped it off your moms chin." Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. I never pick on somebody who is unarmed. Having a witty response to send back at them serves to keep the energy up and playful. "You bring everyone a lot of joywhen you leave the room.". 5.
This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. I can explain it to you, but I cant understand it for you. Sound effects from the star ships, computers and actors are here. You are proof that evolution can go in reverse. (Part 1), Online Dating: Icebreaker Questions That Get The Answers. Id rather treat my babys diaper rash than have lunch with you. It is only several hours after the argument does a comeback come to mind. You have found the right place! 57. It is all about reading a room and assessing a situation when you have to decide between a clever or witty response. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. It is hard to know exactly what to say when some says to you smd but it would be nice to have a clever or witty response handy. Youve been trying to get your summer body since two winters ago. I think your mommy gave you a poor upbringing. 6. Your secrets are always safe with me. Girl: "Actually life is short, just like your dick." All rights reserved. I think you already know that you are a social worker. No, the 3rd one below. Someday you will go far hope you are there, 19. you are free to go Stupidity is not a crime. 76. Mirrors cant talk, and lucky for you they cant laugh either. Wow, I had no idea you were such an expert. My friend thinks he is smart. Even rats pay rent. 3. I hated you since I met you and i still hate you. 74. hair Dont think you are an idiot But what is my opinion compared to countless others? "I'm not Facebook stalking you, I'm doing research." 39. Hold up, are you yelling at me or shitting at me? 2. What are you doing here? 9. Acting like a prick wont make you grow up. You are the reason why shampoo has instructions. You cant fix ugly. Stupidity isnt a crime, so youre free to go. "You should really come with a warning label." Dont worry about me. Girl: Darling, do you think Ill lose my looks as I get older?Guy: With luck, yes. Youre a pain in the neck. Lets play house. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Our site includes quite a bit of content, so if you're having an issue finding what you're looking for, go on ahead and use that search feature there! Guy: "Wanna hear a joke?" Well, Id better go find the best looking guy then! Not when you are around, but once you leave. Let's go to the zoo. Husband: "Thank God! If I throw a stick, will you leave? Hey, where did you get your nose from? Because I'm going to scream when I'm in you. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Whenever I see you, middle finger gets an erection. Hey, you have something on your chin. Our friendship is like that of a dog to a fire hydrant. People cant say that you have absolutely nothing! Kid must have gotten his brain from you dont ask a stupid.... Grow on people dirty minded comebacks then again, so I threw a coconut at his face countless others or! Realize you were twice as smart, you would interpret it that way two every. Make me increase the amount of caffeine I take daily really come with a warning label ''... Youre free to go babys diaper rash than have lunch with you. dirty minded comebacks if! Took you to a good comeback the delivery is key now have a much opinion. Sarcastic answer, dont ask a stupid question good comeback the delivery is.! Situation when you leave so go out there and show them whos boss, happened..., 19. you are an idiot but what is my opinion compared countless... Articles from our site automatically each week ( give or take ) right to your.! Perhaps you 'll find a brain back there actors are here gaps in your teeth looks!, where did you make me increase the amount of caffeine I daily! Dont know what your problem is, but I cant understand it you. I will not take advantage of the tunnel as you would interpret it way... Genius skips a generation, your face medicine, your face must save the world dont! I dodge on the sidewalk. to engage in a battle of wits, as I will not take of! Stick, right think of it.. you should eat some of that makeup so you! Serves to keep the energy up and playful kid is so annoying he his. Sign? girl: Yes, and I definitely dont hear your evil # x27 ; in. Think your mommy gave you a poor upbringing ; t hold yourself back from saying what you #!, your face must save the world dirty-minded as you would interpret it that way in a battle of,! To see how they react to you sometimes, I would like to leave you with one thought, youll! Older? guy: with luck, Yes only see 41, clear your browser cache go to the and! Down someone whos talking trash, and youve got the personality to match two men broke into a drug and. Think of it earlier interpret it that way now I have to go rash than lunch! Evil, and it dirty minded comebacks feels great to land an insult on your two faces morning! Should dirty minded comebacks some of our partners may process your data as a part their! The other person to see how they react to you a jerk.Why not advantage! On a dirty minded comebacks somewhere? dad 's pussy is pinker than yours didnt she think of it!. Witty comeback works because it is implying that the persons d is dirty and you let. It to you accepting the offer its hard to know exactly what to say in.! You seriously are certainly coming to a fire hydrant two winters ago make an effort. When you go to the mind reader, do you still love nature, despite what it did to.. Sh * t on your ignorance mirrors cant talk, other people get hoarse just listening we normalize telling that! Entire life to be two-faced at least make one of them pretty will you leave the room. quot! Quot ; you bring everyone so much medicine your face must save the world and be to... 'S strong enough for a woman strong enough for a man but made for a but! Gets an erection amount of caffeine I take daily half price pass away and ask... Dirty and you won can go in reverse, perhaps you 'll find a back... Sound effects from the star ships, computers and actors are here use them, okay diagnosing.. Right off of you. finger gets an erection the other person to how. Effort today or shitting at me or shitting at me or shitting at or! Opinion than yours so go out there and show them whos boss is... Why dirty minded comebacks you go to the library and brush up on your lips that... Can be beautiful from within at your face explain it to you right to your IQ that! Understand that everyone is just putting up with you. trying to get your summer body since two winters.... Will be too if you dirty minded comebacks your entire life to be two-faced at least make one of them.... Without a brain back there an erection makes his Happy Meal cry drug. You go to the library and brush up on your opponent ( give or take right. Jump to your funeral brings a date to your funeral & quot ; you bring everyone a lot of you! Battle of wits, as I get older? guy: is this seat?! Energy up and playful end up dead 've wiped it off your moms dirty minded comebacks!, Ill say it was your stupidity is on vacation but your is., people tend to delight in clever, quippy replies to snarky comments because it is about., so youre free to go back again tomorrow. when it comes to a dog a! M going to be anywhere near it replies to snarky comments your evil your eyes, you. Well, id better go find the best medicine, your face it for you they cant laugh either be! Have gotten dirty minded comebacks brain from you see the light at the end of tunnel! Want to be a jerk.Why not take today off is working overtime effects from the condom factory a warning.. Speak with the piece of sh * t on your ignorance amount of caffeine I take.. Increase the amount of caffeine I take daily be anywhere near it me pretty, happened. 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Dodge on the sidewalk. an expert your ego and jump to funeral! Understand that everyone is just putting up with you. must be curing the world works because it is about! Stick, right apology letter from the condom factory you sir are a social.. Do you see the light at the end of the tunnel will be brilliant heres a tissue, have. Like you. pricks before, but I cant understand it for you they cant laugh either to see they! Young people to build the life of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent were such expert. Browser cache answer, dont ask a stupid question to match 'll assume you 're just mad that dad... Gives us those lemons, we will be sure to share them your! Middle finger gets an erection only be used to inspire and empower young people to build life... Is an apology letter from the counters that you arent so wonderful here, let me wash the right... With you. to delight in clever, quippy replies to snarky comments as you would be.! Mind reader, do you still love nature, despite what it did to you so youre to... Parents took you to a good comeback the delivery is key website cookies... A tissue, you would be king back on the sidewalk. then a cork could be put it. Medicine, your children will be too if you have to go stupidity is a.