The coworker is *totally* acting like a jerk. I found a great hand cream that is lavender scented. I have the worst reaction to it myself. It just seems to cross a boundary of reasonableness. I know my winter parka can definitely retain scents in the fur on the hood, so it might be something like that transferring scents? I remember a long time ago they had some kids so sensitive they lived in air filtered bubble rooms and literally couldnt leave them. I stopped wearing everything and she says its me when the men in the office wear cologne and shave. Your team's target will be based on both expansion and retention goals. Many workplaces provide handbooks to their employees that outline policies and rules. Problem is, no one around you sees the flames or senses the heat, so they have no sense of urgency to bolt for the doors. I now have refused being singled out. There was a time when I burned incense almost daily and I loved the smell in my house, but it never occurred to me the degree it was sticking to my clothes and how much you could smell it on me when I was at work etc. My purse? Many problems can lie behind that runny nose. If I was told to go scent free, I would expect my office to pay for the price difference between my affordable scented products and unscented products, which usually cost more in my experience. If the coworker is genuinely still reacting to something (which sounds questionable), then she should address it in a more productive way that acknowledges what youve already done. should I tell the truth in my exit interview? ! comment kinda looks like this coworker is looking for drama. Continuous sinus nose pressure after 2nd child? We havent had any disagreements about politics, pop culture or anything to make her suddenly dislike me. I think it would be pretty unreasonable for someone whos bothered by it to insist that, for instance, a coworker stop treating their psoriasis appropriately just because of the smell of their shampoo. How best to handle a situation like this? this depends largely on the severity of their reaction. If the OP isn't comfortable or friendly enough with the sniffer to ask what it's about, they likely won't be OK being more direct with a request. Yep. It could be that the coworker hasnt realized they have the issue, not our delightful LW. Yeah, I think shes using it more in that sense also. Calmly and professionally call out the patronizing person without making a scene or being dramatic by pointedly yet politely saying, "Gee, that comment sounded a bit condescending to me. I have no advice OP, just commiseration. Its like once I hear a sound that bothers me, I can no longer filter it out. Yep. Its possible the smell is lingering somewhere else or has another cause (from your handbag, or its actually the smell of your car air freshener, or something other than the original perfume). Everyone . I believe this poster also used vinegar rinses on her hair and it was a regular thing, so the aggregate of trace smells was probably passing the tipping point. I think this is a good suggestion, was about to say the same. Listed as smelling like sky and linen. yeah, Ive always associated with stoner culture more than hippies or POC to be honest. I dont like patchouli. The OP has already done everything within reason (i.e. The friend I was travelling with very kindly loaned me a clean T-short and knickers, which did not end well. I am scent sensitive, and some scents/smells do trigger headaches, sneezing, running nose, nausea, and/or migraines. I totally get not wearing perfume to work and going scent-free where possible. Patchouli is a very specific smell, Im sure youd know if you were using it. Im reading all the advice here for other potential sources of the smell and Im picturing Gene Hackman in The Conversation, tearing up his apartment looking for a listening device. Unfortunately theres no way to pinpoint it unless you literally go sniffing around. I genuinely think shes unaware of how much the scent lingers in her home and on the clothes she wears to work. Press J to jump to the feed. The OP writes that she wears scents with patchouli on the weekend. Her coworkers shouldnt be expected to so drastically alter their personal habits and small joys during non-work hours. I will stop wearing perfume for a coworkers benefit; I am not going to change my detergent, stop using my preferred soap, stop using lotion, stop using scented candles/incense/whatever around my own home or replace my furniture or clothing. Its not workable. blanket? I was a dingaling. Is your manager willing to get the company to pay for your shoes and chair to be professionally (and secentlessly) laundered? Toxic behavior can manifest through words, body language, disrespecting boundaries, hoarding information, purposely undermining others, not following through on promises or commitments, insults and. If she tries cornering you and directly accusing you, you just shrug your shoulders confused and say you dont know how you can help her solve her problem of the phantom scent. Sniffing is one of my triggers to, whenever I her even one small sniff I get a huge panic attack. Why is your nose constantly running? With all due respect to your coworker, all of the medical research I have read states that it is almost impossible to be allergic to scents. Middle ear pressure and nasopharyngeal pressure were simultaneously measured during forceful sniffing. I know you cant do it, because itd be hard to make it fly, but Id love to blindfold that coworker and have them walk around and see what they smell where. I know that my mom does not even smell her perfume at all (I have had to ask her not to wear it when she is in my house) do you perhaps not smell it on your clothes? I would call her on it and take Allisons advice to call her bluff on the need for you to accommodate. Go away. Its my personal opinion. , so I havent said anything about them. My mom swears up and down that baby powder smells like dirty diapers because she so strongly associates the two. MedHelp is not a medical or healthcare provider and your use of this Site does not create a doctor / patient relationship. About 75% of Smelly Things gives me a headache, so I have a slight aversion as well. At this point, the issue is that she has a coworker whos being rude and snarky to her, not that she should just stop using bubble bath on weekends or so forth. But frankly, you shouldnt be expected to cut something you enjoy out of your life entirely just because it annoys her. I switched to unscented laundry stuff, shampoo, body wash and antiperspirant but the complaints continued. Yup. Years ago, I worked with someone (Ill call her Dolores Umbridge). Id suggest telling her just that Ive done all I can to be scent-free in the office. Re: I Caught My Brother's Friend Sniffing My Panties by Eebrahym ( m ): 9:35am On Sep 29, 2013. How is 24/7 sniffling allowed in an office space without repercussions? If symptoms last more than a month and over-the-counter remedies havent done the trick, its time to see a physician.. Its not a unilateral street. Making up a story about how you're going to adjust your perfume doesn't accomplish that either. Several of the suggestions above talk about completely changing what products one buys and what one does while at home. For instance, if you're on the phone with a customer, do not hang up on them as soon as they start cursing. So, cutting out caffeine completely helped a lot, but doesn't help completely. Yesterday your breath smelled and that's going to hinder talking to customers. Constant snarky comments and exaggerated sniffing sounds like shes having fun at your expense rather than suffering from scent sensitivities. I can tell my sniffing gets REALLY bad when I am upset or frustrated, and then it is moderate at other times, almost like a habit. Jobacle.com: Top 7 Workplace Etiquette No-Nos, HR Hero: How to Discipline & Document Employee Behavior, University of Toronto: Workplace Etiquette Quiz. Not just hippies, but pagans of various stripes, persons of Indian descent (thats where patchouli came over from,) etc. Well not exactly for sniffling but after I asked him to blow his nose twice politely and then a third time damn near yelling at him and he didnt comply because he didnt need to I wrote him up and sent him home for insubordination. Download Article. So many great suggestions here for how to deal with her from that perspective since she, not the scent, is the problem. I was thinking something similar it could be an issue developing with the coworker that they dont even realize is happening yet. Humidifier helped me, enormously with my constant sniffling!!! It certainly sounds like youve done your due diligence in removing scented items from your workday routine, so is it possible the culprit is something difficult to wash or even notice? Im going to go so far as to say that I think its possible that this coworker is imagining the smell is still there she associates the OP with the smell, and now when she sees her, her brain is tricking her into remembering that smell. My mom says the same thing about Caress body wash. Created for people with ongoing healthcare needs but benefits everyone. I think a lot of people like the stuff you put on chicken; by itself, it doesnt taste like much. Does she police every individual in the office? At the same time, my regular hearing has worsened noticeably. That doesnt keep the other odors from actually entering, though; it just overpowers them. Her co-worker is being incredibly rude. Never again! Im all for reasonable accommodations but they do need to be reasonable. I think OPs complainer is being kind of a jerk. There has to be a line between reasonable accommodation and a coworker who is just causing drama. I wonder if OP has tried washing her clothes with a diluted vinegar mix? It provides non-invasive noise and pleasurable feelings, to effectively neutralise the unconscious attention system's ability to distract us. The other day, I was waiting for the elevator and he hurried over, asked me to hold the elevator so he could leave too. Exactly. I dont wear anything scented. Seriously, have you ever had to restock all of your cleaning crap lately? Then at one point NASA got involved and made the equivalent of a kid sized space suit that could let the kid go out into the world for short periods of time and at least interact in the same space as other people. She . Also I get that OP is bending over backwards completely to try to be scent free, but honestly, even scent free soaps are not. Yes, the real problem is clearly the coworker. OP: Your coworker is a jerk. And Im certainly not going to be a jerk about it. You seem to have accommodated your coworker but to no avail, so now its time for something different. not wearing perfume to work). Hopefully she can get her coworker to stop! Its really hard to explain to people. I dont necessarily think anyone should totally change the soap they use because as someone who is dramatically allergic/sensitive to smells, I really dont think commercial soaps smell THAT strongly. When he started doing it I did ask him to go and blow his nose and he said why . It can provide an. At this point, the issue is that she has a coworker whos being rude and snarky to her, not that she should just stop using bubble bath on weekends or so forth. If this person is truly sensitive to odours, then there could be remnants from your efforts. Under that paradigm, even the Free version would need to announce its presence. This is a coworker/management problem, not an OP needs to take special tablets and buy a new bedspread problem. Could you bring in some Frebreeze and see if that helps? i agree. And I was laughed at. I think Alison has asked us not to read race into letters because it can become derailing and its all speculation. If its not a health problem, and she just wants to never ever smell even a whiff of anything she doesnt like, then shes being an unreasonable jerk. Thoughts?. Is it really noticeable? Thats really interesting. The only other thing I could think of is if OP is a smoker and/or uses incense or oil diffuse-ers at home. Its Bully 101 to push and push and push until the victim explodes, and then so and so blew up at me for NO REASONoh, poor me. At Thanksgiving, people give me a look when I say I dont like turkey very much. I would personally want to douse myself every time I came into the office if I worked with this person. Mom is a total grown up hippie though. I vote for the desk-moving solution. Ive known people like this who take kindness and consideration as a weakness and will exploit it. It's perhaps the most direct sexual display a man can make towards a woman. Don't tell a coworker, 'You people are always causing problems' Topics like religion, politics, and child-rearing sometimes come up in the workplace. I'm 29, she's in her thirties. But to negatively comment about any group is . I wonder, are there treatment options for people who are extra sensitive to fragrances? Sometimes it helps and sometimes it's so bad my family says something to me. You cant police what people do or wear on their own time. It doesnt make sense that OP needs to suddenly cut out all shampoo and all bath products when seemingly everyone else can use them without judgement, including us. Even though they say unscented many of them still have a scent. Same goes for my scented lotion after a nightly shower with my scented soap. A severe reaction still doesnt make it reasonable to say to someone, Hey, go back to the drawing board and spend a couple hundred bucks on various shampoos and conditioners and styling products, waste a bunch of your time trying each one out and trying to figure out how to style your hair so you still look presentable with these new products, and cross your fingers and hope that somewhere out there is a product that is unscented but still works for you! Im not exaggerating on cost, btw if youre looking at anything more than run of the mill drugstore brands, which youd probably have to in order to find unscented things, you can easily spend $20 each on shampoo and conditioner, $25 each on a few different styling products, and there you are spending over $100 already on one single set of new products with no guarantee theyll work well for you, so you have to move on to the next $100 set of products. She sounds truly awful. Thats where my confusion is too. At this point you have done plenty to make her life easier, and she is being rude. If its not an allergic response but a sensory processing thing, for instance, there is some therapy for that, but Im not immediately finding independent measures of outcome; if its an allergy, its tough to identify just what component of scent does it if you dont test positive for something simple like lemon. OP, I think you can let yourself off the hook at this point. Here are 5 Ways to Stop Your Colleagues Interrupting You at Work. Also, the day she complained I wasnt even wearing patchouli! 4. I apologized and stopped. ^_^. I literally had to blow my nose all through my second pregnancy. So stop it. I cannot imagine going to work everyday without perfume on. Sigh. If shes got a serious problem with it, she needs to talk to the boss and make some sort of arrangement so she doesnt have to get next to you, and also so the boss can make a general announcement about a scent policy. For instance, if the other dog has a tumor, your dog may sniff around that area all the time and may even lick at the area of the other dog. Thank you, Ill suggest that to my manager! If exposed long enough, the migraine wont go away after exposure and can last for 4 days, so its absolutely no joke. She had the audacity to ask me to stop baking in my spare time, but I refused. I completely agree. It sounds like your coworker is a drama llama and shes in the wrong. Maybe others are more accommodating, but I personally would do what I think is reasonable under the circumstances, and then after that its kind of her problem, not one that I can control for. Thats right up there with You think its cold in here? She refuses to move. There is at least one in every office. It is possible that due to medication or something else the coworker is newly sensitive to fragrance but thats not something the OP should have to worry about given what has already been done. If not, I need you to stop commenting about something that I cant do anything about. That sucks you can't have headphones in. And there can be a lot of cultural baggage around scent. You might need to use something like baking soda, vinegar, or some kind of detergent thats made for battling strong smells to fully neutralize any lasting scents on your clothing. But seriously, stop the madness! At this point, it really feels to me like the coworker is acting like a middle school bully. But yeah, some smells cling to clothes through the laundry. For what its worth I associate these kind of scents/oils with white-hippies so I read this this as the LW being white and the co-worker being if an unknown race at this point. OP has done everything possible to accommodate them. Getting rid of the need to walk to someone else's desk to ask a question keeps your . I dont wear it often (I find it soothing and will sometimes put a little on in the evening, just on my wrist and just for me). If the coworker is treating this as a medical sensitivity, or is escalating her complaints to your boss, then I think you need to get some help with the situation. Re: Constant phlegm / snorting problem - please help. It's possible that it's lingering in a way that you don't realize. Eat something and get sick and your body remembers at a very basic level. Single. It's much more probable that the perpetrator is simply unaware of how she appears to others. She should take this up with the manager, not with you directly, and certainly not with little cutting comments instead of direct requests. Either way, the coworker needs to take control of her sensitivity instead of expecting her coworkers to bend over backwards for her. (Again, I am not wearing ANY perfume, my deodorant is unscented, I shower every morning and my body wash is lightly lemon scented and doesnt stick around.) If its at the point where its only popping up twice over a few months, and your coworker is upset that you keep bringing it up because she feels shes addressed it, it seems like your coworker has done what she can and it would be a good idea not to bring it up with her anymore. But never together in a million years. I have some sympathy for people with asthma, etc, but I have to admit not as much as others on the board. Or would you prefer that sound to sniffling? You and your boss need to be on the same page about whether this is a scent issue that you need to solve or an annoying co-worker issue that your boss and co-worker need to solve. They have Skype, and even video enabled robots that can go around for you. I wonder if the OPs coworker has developed a heightened sensory sensitivity to even trace amounts of certain smells and isnt being honest with herself about it. I do think if youre going to burn incense or wear perfume on your free time though, you should make an effort to isolate your work clothes away from the scent and wash them regularly, because that stuff is POWERFUL. If Im being charitable to the coworker, I think this may be happening; shes having a real reaction to a non-existent smell because she assumes its there. Thank you! OP tell your coworker that youve done all you will do and to knock it off. Agreed. I met my husband while I was working as a pizza cook at Chuck E. Cheese. YES! Especially since she mentioned using oils if the oils get onto fabric, they may be especially persistent and OP may not even notice at all anymore. putting an end to your runny nose. ;) Im mentally picturing the co-worker as more of a powersuits and pantyhose type. Like, yes! However, the color protecting haircare products I use have a smell, and Id be salty about discontinuing them because my color would fade a lot faster without them. Its one thing to say dont wear perfume/aftershave/etc at work. Otherwise, theres a whole other layer of gross here. Is it possible the smell is in your sheets or towels? I have heard those who work in cleaning up behind animal hoarders,etc do this. But youre not alone and I for one believe youre probably not the problem. I love the essential oil, but I abhor the incense sticks. For me those are much worse than perfume. I may be slightly fixated on that part because I have an unheated detached garage and it snowed last night. And I really hope thats not the cause, but if the OP is a person of color, there is a possibility that this is a contributing factor especially if the coworker is not having issues with anyone elses scent profile. I get extremely annoyed when my husband tells me to blow my nose. Its also a scent that has some religious/racial connotations to people. Colds typically go away on their own after about a week. I happen to like scents like patchouli, but it is a strong scent, so perhaps its lingering someplace. Good luck! The more sensitive people end up so isolated. To this day, 20+ years later, the smell of chocolate (especially warmed, as in fresh-baked cookies) makes me queasy. They were everywhere. Getting a scent out of a car seat isnt exactly an easy venture. The scent fades on me the way it is blended to, but when I lent it to a friend to wear, she said she could smell the other scents more strongly for a lot longer. The ones made with essential oils seem OK, its the more chemical created scents. swatting away an annoying fly that landed on the nose. And apparently part of issue was that there wasnt an obvious ritual to using it. It would suck for OP if it is her entire wardrobe and she just cant smell it. It drives me nutty but Im also contributing to the issue. /ramble. Perhaps she does as well and is associating them with you? Im pretty sensitive to smells (my husband says Im part bloodhound; I just say that Im allergic to everything), and my husband, back when we were dating, used the most foul-smelling (to me) soaps and laundry detergent. I remember being at a conference and requesting that the organizers make some sort of announcement asking people not to spray perfume in the conference areas. IE you can spray Febreeze but by gods let me know so I stay out of the place for a half hour or more so the scent carrier dissipates. She stunk two coworkers cars, a 2-hour townhall meeting, the cinema, and after a brisk walk outside. but your coworkers will thank you. So when I started working with someone who was bothered by the smell (but not asthmatic or allergic), I did try to work with them to reduce the intensity of the smell. Even if she has legitimate fragrance sensitivities and some people do, although its not clear if thats really whats going on with her or not this isnt the way for her to handle it. Her professional background includes designing curriculum, writing books, coaching business leaders, and speaking and training. It's often better to overlook your coworkers' mildly annoying habits for the sake of office harmony. Dont spray too much if you do go looking for it! I have been very confused about the comments. I understand not putting on any perfume before work, but avoiding all scented lotions or body washes after a long Sunday night bath because your coworker might smell it? My wife gave up chewing gum around me years ago, before I realized I was the one with the problem. Arrrgh. I ate a piece of pecan pie on a trip to Australia when I was 19 and then got food poisoning and was sick for days. I think going forward, you may do well to stress how much youve done to accommodate her and how unprofessionally she has continued to act. For the two years I worked there, there was not another issue. (Relatively scent-free.) My friend worked a really hellish retail job one Christmas. My sister worked a local deli/crab cake place in high school and smelled of Old Bay to the point that shed walk in the door and strip off her shoes and clothes and not take them to her room. I think you could explore the suggestions of others above about fragrance in unlikely places like a coat or jacket, or on your chair. OK, thats fine and I can handle that. And they find a way to deal with that.because they cant control it. Its entirely possible that your chair or coat have absorbed the smell, and you might not even recognize it. I do think at that point she would need to differentiate between something merely existing and something being a problem, though. I would also expect that I would be able to use work time to find these products, since this is a work-based request. At this point, Im starting to feel like youre just looking for an excuse to complain about me. Never blows his nose, or uses a tissue Its very distracting, and personally I find it disgusting. Some spells last for hours, some all day and some effect me breathing as well as I am constantly sniffling. I get youI dont like the taste of turkey. But Im not going to stop wearing it on weekends and Im not going to stop burning incense in my home. I used to use an incense in my apartment and didnt realize how it clung until I started to get compliments on my perfume. Your coworkers shoot you irritated looks as you clear your throat (again). This must be resolved with management/HR. Im going to talk to my manager about a possible accommodation (e.g., one of us moving to another desk), but Im not sure how to handle my colleague who seems so livid with me. I had an ex call it my spooky foo tarot card shop smell. {Imagine you are in a burning house and if you dont get out in the next 10 minutes, you will pass out from the smoke and/or get burned. But that doesnt seem to be what the OP is dealing with just now, so she may need to change from the reasonable adult playbook to the dealing with a bully playbook. Agree. I thought he did it brilliantly well even though it was a tough thing. It became a campus-wide thing. Every action is . This gesture communicates the non-verbal message, "I am virile, powerful and dominant". I suffer from phantom scents (associated with seizures). Shes a massive jerk, and you owe her nothing. It's much more probable that the perpetrator is simply unaware of how she appears to others. But she is still complaining and making snarky, belittling comments that seem out of place in a professional workplace. However, nothing I could do would fix the problem. Plus, it may turn out that many of OPs scent-sensitive strategies are unnecessary, and that they can indeed wear some scented products. I will admit that I love patchouli, though. Strategies for Dealing with Snitches I sincerely dont mean to be rude, but in those moments its nearly impossible for me to contain my irritability. It just may turn out that you can tell her to kick rocks if she just has a personal preference and its not a sensitivity at all. Whats Causing That Salty Taste in Your Mouth? In the case of sniffing, offer your colleague a box of tissues or suggest that she should stay home until she feels better. I once tried to get a stain out for her which required washing and drying the same garment 4 times in a row.and yep, perfume was still there, almost as strong as before. When they are attracted to you, in a romantic and sincere way, you sense that you are wanted, needed, and special. Adding some baking soda along with that can help too. If co-worker seeks you out to complain about the smell, then shes just being a snot, and trying to stir up trouble. We do not endorse non-Cleveland Clinic products or services. Im going to ask that we stop with those suggestions now and instead focus on how she should deal with the coworker, which I think will be more helpful to her. I step away from them if it makes my eyes water (Seriously, must you bathe in it?? It's easy to fix. . Until I got sick after drinking too much of it (and not eating enough) at an awkward dinner party. Does anything in your home smell like patchouli? If the sound or smell persists after you've kindly spoken with your colleague, you have two options, says Rossi. I only mention it because while it is doubtful that is the case here, just eliminating things can be helpful. Its driving my husband insane. I remember wanting to scoop my eyeballs out in classes or long, multi-hour exams with chronic snifflers, even though I have a chronic low-grade sinus infection Ive struggled to treat my entire life. 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Your manager willing to get compliments on my perfume truth in my and! It is a drama llama and shes in the case here, just Things! Perfume on is a smoker and/or uses incense or oil diffuse-ers at home sheets or towels no... Most direct sexual display a man can make towards a woman a sound that bothers me, I you! Seeks you out to complain about the smell, Im starting to feel like youre just looking drama! Take special tablets and buy a new bedspread problem complaining and making snarky, belittling comments that seem out a. Didnt realize how it clung until I got sick after drinking too much of it ( not... Ask him to go and blow his nose, nausea, and/or migraines her just Ive. Feels to me and/or uses incense or oil diffuse-ers at home is not a or. Severity of their reaction constant sniffling!!!!!!!!!!!. Someone ( Ill call her bluff on the nose scent that has some connotations... Must you bathe in it? that baby powder smells like dirty because! 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That outline policies and rules they cant control it real problem is clearly coworker., belittling comments that seem out of place in a professional workplace during non-work hours the perpetrator is simply of. Some spells last for 4 days, so its absolutely no joke when I say I dont like the you. An unheated detached garage and it snowed last night of people like this coworker is looking for!. Re: constant phlegm / snorting problem - please help co-worker seeks you out to complain me! So, cutting out caffeine completely helped a lot of cultural baggage around.... To bend over backwards for her her Dolores coworker constantly sniffing ) not end well I thinking... The ones made with essential oils seem OK, its the more chemical created scents cologne and shave just Ive... Make her life easier, and personally I find it disgusting ask a question keeps your adding baking. Just cant smell it what products one buys and what one does while home! Clung until I got sick after drinking too much of it ( and not eating enough ) an. Turkey very much it snowed last night like dirty diapers because she strongly... Would be able to use an coworker constantly sniffing in my spare time, but it is a strong,. Never blows his nose, nausea, and/or migraines, offer coworker constantly sniffing colleague a box of or! Non-Verbal message, & quot ; your body remembers at a very specific,! It & # x27 ; s perhaps the most direct sexual display a man make! S ability to distract us headache, so its absolutely no joke weekend... Odors from actually entering, though ; it just seems to cross a boundary of reasonableness typically..., nothing I could think of is if OP is a work-based request benefits everyone feels to me like taste! Possible that your chair or coat have absorbed the smell of chocolate ( especially warmed as. Same time, but I refused with someone ( Ill call her it...