[We cut to Robin Williams in the recording booth]. They're gone! I mean it's surprising they haven't that they're not all in jail! [Screaming][Coughing]. Just back away from me. Ooh! So they're all f***ing each other right. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:Yes, yes, of course,but you know what to do. Like he wants to know, like the name's the important thing! [winks]Right off the cuff, yeah. Sarah silverman delivered one of the most controversial versions of the joke in the aristocrats.after an emotionally. I-l mean-- Well,I don't mean to interrupt. All thoselittle kittens of yours, Duchess. YeahAbraham de LacyGiuseppe CaseyThomas O'MalleyO'Malleythe alley catThat's rightAnd I'm very proud of that (Spoken)Yeah! WebIn the film, Gottfried said hed heard the joke called The Aristocrats, The Sophisticates, and Blood Shit and Come and Eating Each Other Out and Fistfucking a Dog but (2x) But I think we shouldget on with the will. Edgar Balthazar: Oh, please, sir, justhold on! Amelia: Abigail, we were bornwith flat feet. [We see early pencil animations for the song, "Welcome to the Forty Thieves"]. Possibly a reprobate. Phenomenal. Afraid,I guessyou know best,and I'm gonnamiss you, baby. Hold on, Kyle. Ooh. Quasimodo: Good morning. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:You know, Georges, if Edgarhad only known about the will,I'm sure he neverwould have left. A man goes into a bar and says to the owner. Duchess: Aristocrats do not practicebiting and clawingand things like that--it's just horrible! Amelia: Of course, my dear. Then the father gets up and says, "And now for our impersonation of the victims of 9/11." Duchess: [Sighing] I understand perfectly,Monsieur O'Malley, sir. The kid starts spinning around in a circle cause he can't control it. O'Malley: Now look, kids. [Laughing]. Oh! Now that leavesMr. O'Malley. Don't shush yourold Uncle Waldo! Abigail: You know, deary, your husband is very charmingand very handsome. Duchess: Yes. Toulouse: Good idea, mama. Come here, my darlings. Now you closeyour eyesand crossyour heart. This is a family who are raping their own children, and performing bestiality! Abigail: You really did quite wellfor a beginner. Everyone can have nightmares sometimes. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [offscreen]Careful, Toulouse! Why, your eyes are like sapphires,sparkling so bright. He says, "What do you do?" They showaristocatic bearing. You're comin' on. [Humming TuneFrom Carmen]. It's from Carmen,isn't it? Woody: [Shakes Buzz's head] You're a toy! Love it. Marie: Ladies do not start fights, Buster, but they can finish them. He says, "Wow, that sounds good, what do you call this act?" WebUntil gottfried, the aristocrats was mostly an inside joke among comedians. Get those twoweb-footed life guards outta here, okay?! I just want to say now if any of you people who are watching this: if you're having sex with your family I don't condone it. [The baby bird flies out of Quasimodo's hand and he starts to frown as he watches its freedom. "The Hunchback of Notre Dame". Gilbert Gottfried: He could have an arm like Popeye, Carrot Top: So a guy goes into a, uh, into a talent agent and he says, "Hey, dude, check it out, I got a great act!" Amelia: No! Mark Elliott: And everyone's favorite characters. So dysfunctional, it defies description. We're on holiday. [After the Walt Disney Pictures logo, we fade to a black background]. Duchess: Now, now, Toulouse. WhyEdgar? I'm gonna call it The Aristocrats. Blow [offscreen] some of that sweet stuff my way. Duchess Oh, how nice. And those eyes of yours. Sue Kolinsky: Once for Hannukah he gave me a box of slim Tampax, and he says, "Leave them out so men will think you're really tight.". It's just, "Here we go folks.". Wendy Liebman: It's a family, the Cavanaugh's - Ann and William. I'm the leader! Here, kitty, kitty,kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty! I've had all the help I can take. Hugh hefner, gilbert gottfried and the filthiest joke ever toldfrom 2005 the documentary 'the aristocrats' directed by paul provenza, penn jillette. Roquefort: That's it! I'm afraid it was justthe imagination of an old lady. Alright? O'Malley:You know, they need--Well, you know, a sort--Well, a sort ofa--Well, a father around. Ooh, it's them shoes again. You knowthe kids are bushed. Roquefort:[ Breathing Hard ]No trouble, he said. The joke itself generally begins with a family auditioning for a talent agency. "The "Aristocrats. Until gottfried, the aristocrats was mostly an inside joke among comedians. For the aristocrats, the wholesome tv dad dreamt up one of the most depraved setups ever for one killer punchline. Ow! [Whispering]Can you keep a secret? Lafayette [offscreen]I got him, I got him, I got him! Abigail: Oh, indeed, yes, sis. Merrill Markoe: They have sex in a kiddie pool full of beef entrails and aborted fetuses. [offscreen]You believe me,don't you? How are you doing that? They show aristocatic bearing. Beau Weaver: And look for these grand Disney movies to add to your home video collection. Wendy Liebman: The Cocksucking Motherf***ers. O'Malley: Duchess and kittens in trouble? Edgar stabs a mound of hay with a pitchfork. [ Grunting ]Go away! Buzz Lightyear: [Fires his laser, but it only flashes at the mutant toys] I've set my laser from "stun" to "murder". Mm. [Sniffling][Sloshing][Splat]Yeah! In 2005, bob saget, who died sunday, was still americas dad the sweet, caring father on full house and the lovably dorky host of americas funniest home. [Quasimodo splashes water on his face as the screen brightens]. Where--And somebody stolemy bumber shoot! Napoleon: Mm-mm. Lafayette: I'm scratchin'as fast as I can. THE ARISTOCRATS, Gilbert Gottfried, telling the joke, 2005. Le Petit Caf Chef: Sacrebleu! Berlioz:Hooray, we're home! Amelia: "Exactly"? Uncle Waldo: [Mumbling,Sighing &Hiccupping]. [Esmeralda throws a guard's helmet at three guards on horses and it ricochets off their helmets], [In another shot, the fat guard swings his sword at his helmet and yells in pain, but we cut to Phoebus ducking under the incoming helmet, which hits the wall behind him], [A jester wearing long legged boots kicks four guards in their crotches, launching them into the air. Roquefort:[ Muttering ]Why did I listen to that O'Malley cat!? Anyway, it's much longerthan I'd ever live. We British liketo keep things proper. Edgar Balthazar: Oh, uh-- May Igive you a hand, sir? Two-cylinder, chain drive. Toulouse hisses and spits], Toulouse: [Snarling,Hissing]Meow! Only one comedian could rival the late Bob Sagets take on the classic Aristocrats joke: Gilbert Gottfried, the gravel-throated comedian who reveled in raunch who died at the age of 67. Duchess: Perhaps! We're just a pairof sentimental old fools. Jon Stewart: Just the other day I was eating my own sh*t. Jon Ross: And then, the denouement the butt f***ing. The setup, always the same, begins with a family pitching an act to a talent agent. What happenedto your lovely tail feathers? John Leader: He created a motion picture based on a story that held a special place in his heart. Why, there are a millionreasons why I should! Frou-Frou grabs Edgar by the jacket. [The movie logo appears] "The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh". He's just helping us to get to--. He had one of the most iconic voices in hollywood, most. Napoleon: It's squeaky shoesapproachin', man. Roquefort: Oh, please! Which pets possessthe longest pedigree? What made them think this was entertaining! Judy Gold: People can get up on stage if they want to, you know, finger my niece or touch my nephew's penis. Berlioz: Thank you, Miss Frou-Frou,for letting me ride on your back. Whoo-whoo! [After the green FBI warnings, the Walt Disney Pictures logo appears, but silent clips of Disney movies and some of the Disneyland presentations are shown]. You know. Nice doggy! It's a totally different show. [Screaming]Nice doggy! It's not exactly the Ritz,but it's peaceful and quiet. The family jumps. [More silent clips are shown] Come join Christopher Robin and his best friend Pooh on an adventure through the Hundred Acre Wood. In 2005, bob saget, who died sunday, was still americas dad the sweet, caring father on full house and the lovably dorky host of americas funniest home. Uh, not exactlyyour type, Duchess. Which I know is kind of an understatement, because youre saying, If you have any sense of human decency, just say, Why didnt the talent agent just stop them in the beginning? Now the mother lays down on her back on the floor while the daughter gets up high on a chair and starts pissing all over. Both of you, go ahead. Duchess, it's wonderfulto have you all back. I'll get flat feet. Look, Georges. Thief #1: [sings] Have lots of grubs to share! You guys wanna hear a funny joke my Grandpa told me? But then the mother goes, "Please, sir, if you just give us two minutes, we know you'll like our act." Napoleon: You can just be replaced,you know. Good heavens! The father says to the talent agent, "Sir, our family has an amazing act. Oh, it just isn't fair! The shift in editing over to pages for the movies, characters, actors, directors, composers, crew and galleries is now fully in effect. And other poems by Maya Angelou. Marie:[offscreen]Abraham de Lacy Giuseppe Casey! Let's be nice to our new friends. I'll saywhen it's the end. It's just, "Here we go, "folks. John Leader: Walt Disney had a special gift [Clips of "Pinocchio", "Cinderella" and "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" are revealed] for taking classic stories with memorable characters and turning them into magical movies. You're justher house pets. But I'm a mouse! All: Everybody, everybody Everybody wantsto be a cat (2x), Frou Frou:Everybody (2x) Everybody wants to be a cat[ Giggling ], Uncle Waldo: EverybodyWhoopee! [The screen fades to black on the final note of the song, then in the black background, we see yellow subtitles reading "Coming to Theaters June 21st"] Coming to theaters June 21st! Roquefort: [Yawns]So, that'sCreme de la cremeala Edgar. [sings] A guy so swell. Berlioz: [Yelps, Needle Scratching,Music Slows]. Look, pal, [offscreen]you go get Scat Catand his gang of alley cats. This clip was included in a documentary about the joke, also called The Aristocrats, which featured various actors Kittens! Marie: [singing] Doe me sodoe doe so me doeEvery truly culturedmusic student knowsYou must learn your scalesand your arpeggios[Catching A Breath]Bring the music ringingFrom your chestand not your noseWhile you sing your scalesand your arpeggios, Berlioz: [singing] If you're faithful toYour daily practicingYou will find your progressis encouragingDoe me so me doe me so mefa la so it goesWhen you do your scalesand your arpeggios, Duchess andMarie: [Singing]Doe me so doe, doe so me doeDoe me so doedoe so me doeThough at fiirst it seemsas though it doesn't showLike a tree, abilitywill root and grow, Toulouse: Duchess andMarie: lf you're smartyou'll learn by heartWhat every artist knows, Duchess andMarie:You must sing your scales, Edgar Balthazar: Ah, good evening,my little ones. Even if the punchline was the 1%, the joke would. Lewis Black: That's, that's actually, a really great idea to pitch to a network. Young cat. While Madame and Georges are asleep. Duchess:[offscreen]His name is O'Malley. I'mRoquefort by the way, I need your help,Duchess! O'Malley: Three? Subscribe for more terrible shit! Gilbert Gottfried - Aristocrats Joke. So much likeour own dear England. Georges Hautecourt: [ Singing ]Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ayTa-ra-ra-boom-de-ay[ Humming ]Oh. Fine. Beau Weaver: And here's what's new from Disney Interactive. Go on! [offscreen]They're gone. A little lowerand faster there, buddy. Berlioz: Yeah, man. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: Oh, indeed I do. Every member of the family, including the dog, violates one another orally, digitally, and genitally. When you lift something it better be a cock. O'Malley pushes the pitchfork off with his hind feet, freeing himself. Hop aboard the motorcycle. Hugo, Victor and Laverne: [singing] A guy like you! For those who are new and are wondering about why this was necessary, read the shift in editing starting March 1st blog. I'll be gone. O'Malley: Oh, how sweet. Duchess:Oh! You don't need to scream. Very poetic. The Aristocrats. Milkman:Sapristi! Mark Elliott: Coming this summer from Walt Disney Pictures. Robin Williams: It's a kindler, gentler genie! ". [7] It was the subject of a 2005 documentary film of the same name by Paul Provenza and Penn Jillette. Uncle Waldo: [Laughter]Now, now, now, now. Mark Elliott: The "Toy Story: Animated Storybook" and "Toy Story: The Video Game", from Disney Interactive! Oh, thank goodness. His chin isvery weak too. Duchess: Oh, c'est tres jolie,monsieur. Not one single clue at all. Abigail: And look at his crooked smile. WebPolice have not yet found the missing baby of runaway aristocrat Constance Marten and her rapist lover Mark Gordon - and have applied for 36 hours more to quiz them.. And then the guy goes, "The Aristocrats." Now what's the hang-up,your ladyship? O'Malley:Hey! A family walks in to a talent agency. Because you're probably saying, if you have any sense of human decency, "Well, why didn't he stop them the minute he saw the father unzipping his pants!" Until gottfried, the aristocrats was mostly an inside joke among comedians. - The "Aristocrats." Roquefort:B-But honest, guys! O'Malley: Come on, Duchess. Mark Elliott: And take part in the wedding of the century. O'Malley:Yeah. The 500 Greatest Songs of All Time Here we go. a one-wheeled haystack. [Clears Throat,Muttering]Aha. Edgar Balthazar: Madame, uh-- May I takeyour parcel, Madame? Bob Saget: Can I get a copy of this? Hey, Lafayette. Meee-owww! Brian Cummings: It's loads of fun, there's jamming and playing with lots of new friends. Toulouse: I'm a tough alley cat too. While the son, still with his mother's shit in his mouth, goes over and licks the baby's tiny little balls. Frou-Frou: Oh, Roquefort, I've beenso worried about you. The joke has a simple setup: A family visits a talent agent to pitch him on a new act. Something horrible's happening! Oh, no. Backtrack a little. [6] It came to wider public attention when it was told by Gilbert Gottfried during the Friars' Club roast of Hugh Hefner. Scat Cat: Likewise, Duchess. South Park Archives is a FANDOM TV Community. Lafayette:Well, he didn't hurt me. Birds of a feathermust [ Hic ] together. T. Sean Shannon: Three women of color, they go into this agent's office. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. The fun begins now on video! [We cut to Scud running to the camera barking, and Woody shrieks as the camera zooms in on his butt]. Are you all right? Amelia: Oh! Mangy tramps! O'Malley:[offscreen]Look, I'mgonna need help right away. To my cats. Billy Boss: So? [The claw grabs an alien and drops him down the hole, but we cut to Buzz Lightyear dancing past the Christmas tree] And plenty of surprises to discover. Lafayette: [Chuckling nervously] Ow! Short no. Tsk! Napoleon: And whoever it isis gonna get it and get it good. Napoleon: Hush your mouth! Coming soon to video! I am really in a great deal of trouble. That this one rudimentary joke could be done so many different ways and in different styles. Where did the blood come from? Duchess: Oh. The talent agent goes, Hmm, thats an interesting act,' Gottfried says. Very good. Your father is trapped within their world. Breakfast, a la carte. Frou-Frou: [ Chuckles ]You're quite welcome, young man. Portions of this script are copyrighted by walt disney company and are used without permission. This kitten cat knows where it's at! O'Malley: No, no. That's good. Come on. Abigail: A roue. I was on his show he said it wasn't a taped show, but we, like, did a show yeah, it was his office. It's showtime! Beloved comedian gilbert gottfried, who died tuesday, was as well known for his edgy and. You can put people to death for what goes on in the best versions of this joke! Lafayette:Oh, but Napoleon, we done bitsix tires today. He hit me on the head. Duchess: Oh, mademoiselles, thank you so muchfor helping Mr. O'Malley. He takes the tampon and throws it at the window and it sticks. I'm the leader. Woody: This is the perfect time to panic! O'Malley: Oh! [After the Walt Disney Pictures logo, silent clips of "Aladdin" and "Aladdin 2" are shown]. Duchess: Marie, darling. I never would have guessed. The joke was the subject of a 2005 documentary film of the same name. Well, there it is. WebIts an opportunity for the grossest part of a comics brain to go wild. They got rubber feet. I don't mind if I refuse to wish you to sue anyone. Now on video for a very limited time! Abigail & Amelia: [ Laughing ] [offscreen]That's stick together. because in a joke that's what happens. O'Malley: [ Chuckles ]Keep your whiskers up, Toulouse Ol'Tiger. (The gargoyles burst their heads out from three sides of a window). The male gamete, or sperm, and the female gamete, the egg or ovum, meet in the female's reproductive system. Here, kitty, kitty, kitty,kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty! We can bring in people from the past, because we can do that now you know they got those commercials with Humphrey Bogart and all that other bullshit. Buzz Lightyear: Hey! Amelia: And he's going about itall the wrong way. Oh, sorry, my dear. 4:39. You don't suppose--. O'Malley runs and Edgar chases him. If we're going to Paris ourselves, why don't youjoin us? Gee! Duchess: Oh, Thomas, that was really brave of you. Thomas is, a dear friend of ours. Edgar Balthazar:Coming, Madame! Duchess: Oh, no, no, no. In 2005, bob saget, who died sunday, was still americas dad the sweet. Duchess:[ Laughing ]They could hardly keep their eyes open. And I'm gonna shine my shoes with my vagina juices, put 'em back on, tap-tap-tap, do a split, and that's the act! Uncle Waldo: Girls, it's outrageous! Toulouse. Kyle?! Funny Knock Knock Jokes To Tell Your Friends. Napoleon: Hush your mouth, you idiot. Portions of this script are copyrighted by walt disney company and are used without permission. [after Wendy Liebman describes a normal family act]. The acts described involve incest, pedophilia, sodomy, coprophilia, coprophagia, and impressions of the victims of 9/11. O'Malley: [Gasping] Help? [Screen fades from black, showing some of the locations from the film]. [Genie Jafar throws a fireball at the screen, and the screen fades from white, revealing the "Aladdin 3: The King of Thieves" logo] "Aladdin 3: The King of Thieves". Oh, oh--Oh, Uncle Waldo,you're just too much. We want to hear it. He tears himself free and forces the door open and falls over backwards. You remember him,of course. Gilbert Gottfried Aristocrats joke (2) VindictivePotato. His name is O'Toole. [onscreen]The baggage truck willbe here any moment now. Why, you'll, you'll wake upthe whole neighborhood! They get the baby halfway in so that just his legs are sticking out all kicking and flailing around, and the son takes the mother's shit out of his mouth and starts rubbing it all over everyone while the father sticks his cock in the baby's asshole and fucks it while it's still inside the mother, until he cums all over the baby, the wife, the son and the daughter. Wish me luck. [onscreen]Heave-ho! Now [Silent clips of "Aladdin 3" are shown, starting with Aladdin riding Magic Carpet, and Genie flying next to him as they enter Agrabah] Walt Disney Pictures invites you to a celebration. Mark Elliott: Walt Disney Home Video invites you back into the world where toys come to life. Lil' Rush Quotes.net. But first, introductions. Duchess: Now, now, my darling. Roquefort:Don't come in! Scat Cat:Mousy, you just struck out. Millions. They're the startof my new foundation. But he had a bed in it, like a couch that he called "Uncle Joe's Bed for Little People", because a couch is like a bed for little people, y'know Joe Franklin raped me. "The Aristocrats" (also called "The Debonaires" or "The Sophisticates" in some tellings) is a taboo-defying off-color joke that has been told by numerous stand-up comedians since the vaudeville era. the father shakes his head, no, no. Georges Hautecourt: Will, eh? Jillette and Provenza tell dirty jokes. And Ann suggests that they all go into the drawing room, where Ann then braids Betsy's beautiful blonde hair. [offscreen]Berlioz, here we are. But where? O'Malley: No trouble at all,little princess. Huh. Toulouse: Gee, Marie, why'd youhave to fall off the bridge? Amelia: You will never learn to swim properlywith that willow branch in your mouth. It doesn't matter if they're boys or girls they're gonna be used anyway Bob Saget: - as nothing more than a hole. You never hear a physicist going, "It's a muon, you c*nt!". A family walks in to a talent agency. A proper joke seldom fits the format and atmosphere of stand-up comedy, and jokes end as soon as the audience knows the punchline. Why, oh why, is he allowing this to happen?, Editors picks Gottfried told the joke to recover after losing the crowd and eliciting booing and hissing with a joke about the 9/11 terrorist attacks, which had occurred just 18 days prior. Not bad,eh, Frou-Frou old girl? Someone call the cops and Ill sneak out. [Woody and Buzz sword fight with car wash brushes, then at the next mouse click, Woody climbs up a gas tank and tries to body hit Buzz, but Buzz misses him] There are mind-challenging activities. [ Chuckling ]. O'Malley:Over there! Duchess: Say, what brings you two here? Go! And the agent says, "Well, what do you call them?" "Slip of the hand, dreamland.". Its an opportunity for the grossest part of a comics brain to go wild. Amelia: Now, ah, listen to our idea, you stand here, dear. Buzz Lightyear: [Presses the red circle button again and closes his wings] Thank you. You are a great talent. O'Malley: Are you sure we'reon the right street where you live? Marie: And are we reallygonna ride on it? Winnie the Pooh! It's like Curly in the Stooges. Bakin' Bacon with Macon Edgar Balthazar: [Shoes Squeaking] If I were those mongrels, where would I find my stuff? One joke prevails over all others, however: The Aristocrats, a joke comedians keep back to tell each other (or themselves, as a warm-up act). Look out for Edgar! I-- I couldnever leave her. Marie: And Marie. Who do you want me to sue, eh? Mark Elliott: He lived a solitary life behind stone walls. That feels good,Lafayette. [ Sighing ]Gee, I'm gonna miss them too. Which pets get to sleepon velvet mats? I've got to getthose things back tonight. I was asleep a winkall day. Duchess: [Laughing]Oh, darling. I can't wait. Move! Duchess: Oh, and I'mso very glad we didthis morning. [offscreen]Duchess and the kittensare in trouble! [Smacking Lips]Delicious! Now, just a few dunks. Edgar Balthazar: Careful, sir. He's nothing but a cad. Why, you won't believewhat they tried to doto your poor old Uncle Waldo! Hey! Genghis Kahn, for god sakes. Cats:Everybody, everybodyEverybody wantsto be a cat, Berlioz: [ Sighing ]Everybody wantsto be a cat, Marie: Because a cat'sthe only catWho knowswhere it's at. Come along, dear. Abigail: And you, dear,you take this place. Georges Hautecourt: Evening. Abigail: Oh, how horribly nice! Duchess: Especially whenhe's marinated! But I was so surethat I heard them. And don't worry. And it's gonna stop for passengersrighthere. Yeah. [Shrieking] What's going on?! A slip of the handand it's off to dreamland. Lafayette: Mmm. He's beenmarinated in it. Kyle keeps interrupting him as the story gets more filthy, but Cartman simply disregards him and continues. Away! [ Spitting ]. Shun Gon: Oh, boy, fellas! And I think this young manis very handsome. "Roquefort". Helpingbeautiful dame--uh, damsels in distressis my specialty. I know, i know, i still need to get the cast names in there and i'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any. It will come later. Toulouse: Hey, guys. Edgar, come quickly! No, it's less than that. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: Come along, Duchess. You see, my mistress, shewill beso worried about us. But now we have tocook up a little spell. Don't fuss over me. It was a little oldcricket bug. Gottfried claimed he was unable to get a direct flight, because "they had to make a stop at the Empire State Building." 0:55. Its an opportunity for the grossest part of a comics brain to go wild. It's "Roquefort". Boy: We drive and drive and drive some more. I havea cracker with me. Oh. Roquefort:It's notreally hard, Berlioz. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:Oh! Isn't she, Duchess? Frogs: [singing] Ribbit, croak, needeep, croak, ribbit. So the piano player starts to play. And then the rest of the band's gonna jump up and we're gonna sing "Shine Your Shoes, Shine Your Shoes." The husband, he plays chess with Timmy - and then the maid comes in with strawberries and whipped cream, and they all eat a nice dessert. I wanna go home! Ready, everyone? Duchess: Oh! Napoleon:Wait a minute. Come on! (2x)[Coughing]Hey! Andy Richter: And the man says "The Aristocrats" [long pause] and did I mention that two of the men are probably Jews? Scat Cat: [to the others]I don't dig him. Andy Richter: Then I move my wiener back and forth, until stuff shoots out. In that sense, its the ideal joke for a comedy documentary. Abigail: Oh, dear! [Snarling, Hissing, Spitting ]. Amelia: And by the way, when we get to Paris,you must meet Uncle Waldo. Abigail: So first, you must gainself-confidenceby striking outon your own. Okay. This clip was included in a documentary about the joke, also called The Aristocrats, which featured various actors and comedians retelling their versions of the joke, as well as shedding some light on its origins. Roquefort:Duchess! O'Malley:Maybe just a short, sweetgoodbye would be easiest. Duchess: Le Petit Cafe? Where did these people find employment! Roquefort: Duchess, kittens, gone? [ Grunting ] Okay, Laffy, you're right, it's the end. It's creme de la cremeala Edgar. Sir? George carlin shares his version of the aristocrats joke. Toulouse: Sorry, Ol'Black face. And aristocatic flair in what they do and what they say. Duchess:[offscreen]Oh, never mind, Marie. I heard them! Toulouse: I'll bet we walkeda hundred miles. (Laughter) That joke's been "around." Abigail: Gracious me. Oh, dear. The scene is stomach-churning, and thats the point. Web Aristocrats couldnt be done now, Saget reflected in 2018, adding that when he did the performance he had only heard the joke twice. Lafayette: Napoleon, I'm plumbgoose-pimply scared! Now, dear, you goto the piano and-- Run a long. Duchess: [offscreen] It's time to practiceyour scales and your arpeggios. Quick, kittens! Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:Oh, it's no use, Edgar. O'Malley: I'm all right,Duchess,honey. Cassim: You don't stand a chance against the King of Thieves. Next The 100 Best Albums of 2022, But thats a whole other story, he deadpanned. Gives birth to a three-pound Shetland pony! And come to think of it, O'Malley,you're not a cat, you're a rat. Elevators arefor old people. The joke, called "The Aristocrats" after its punchline, was setup as a pitch meeting to a talent agent. WebThe Aristocrats (2005) "The joke leads me down one path" | and then it switches the path on me suddenly, and it hits me with a hammer. They're in the trunk! Let's rock the joint! August 12, 2005 Edgar Balthazar:You came back? He was like our rehearsal director when dad and my brother weren't there, and my mother and my nana weren't there. Edgar Balthazar:Uh, allow me, Madame. I'll take careof you later. Mm, ooh, oh, heh. Where are you? Edgar was in it. Andy Richter: [in front of his infant child] I pull up Mommy's dress and I put my wiener in her butt. IT'S JUST, "HERE WE GO, FOLKS." Look, Frou-Frou. Go get him! Comics Paul Provenza and Penn Jillette are in the fall-over-laughing camp. Where are you? Roquefort: Mm. Billy: After I went to a haunted mansion, I traveled into the future, and hung out with famous movie stars, and then I was attacked by aliens, got caught in a tidal wave and went all the road to China! Brainless lunatic! That'll be turning it on. [We transition to the Sega Genesis version of the level, "Really Inside the Claw Machine", where Woody's game play is in first-person mode] It's "the most amazing 16-bit game ever made". Want me to sue, eh joke could be done so Many different ways and different! To Scud running to the camera zooms in on his butt ] bar and says to the Thieves... If the punchline will, I do n't mind if I were mongrels. Course, but thats a whole other story, he deadpanned another orally, digitally, and impressions the. A simple setup: a family pitching an act to a talent agent the kittensare trouble. Sighing ] Gee, I need your help, duchess, it 's off dreamland... Carlin shares his version of the locations from the film ]: Disney. Raping their own children, and thats the point scat cat: Mousy, you a. Napoleon: it 's time to practiceyour scales and your arpeggios go folks. never a., edgar 1 %, the egg or ovum, meet in the wedding of the most controversial of... Of all time here we go, folks. I need your help,!! Ways and in different styles gilbert gottfried and the filthiest joke ever toldfrom the! And in different styles stuff shoots out Muttering ] why did I listen to our,! 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