You can follow her on Twitter. The thought of a shower makes me want to run in fear. This is a legitimate reason to. OP, if you haven't already, I recommend speaking with him about seeing a doctor. If the only time a couple has sex is at the end of the day, they . Some partners might feel that since their man no longer complains, that it is a good thing. You go to bed tired and wake up tired. Like stress, underlying mental health issues like anxiety and depression can affect sex drive. If you know your partner's not in any real danger, give them space to acknowledge the thoughts that triggered the anxiety and time to take . Your boyfriend becoming a bit lazy doesnt always mean hes getting tired of the relationship. The Pursue / Withdrawal Relationship Dynamic When a Partner is Always Angry. You feel like your bones are made of lead and your head of granite. You need to have a serious talk about your relationship dynamic. Shake out your arms and legs. So much information in fact that it cant possibly make you aware of everything its figuring out. Also dropping things and the tight-chested feeling caused by cramping type pains in my diaphragm. Sarah S. 13. 1. This means it's really out of their control as to . Thats a natural ebb and flow.. Are you happy in your relationship? Nta something is up beyond being tired if a 21 year old guy doesn't want any sex or physical contact on his day off. Starts at my chest then moves into the rest of my body until I cannot move or keep my eyes open. He said he was too tired to talk about it and that I should understand, which I did. At best, hes fed up with you and the relationship. How do you know if your boyfriend is not into you anymore, or if youre just being paranoid? If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. But, if he's truly taking the relationship for granted with no goal in sight, then a heart-to-heart about whether you share a common goal probably needs to happen. So you see him roughly 8 full days a month and you expect him to be ready and rarin' to get nasty each and every time? Minutes 1 and 2: Stand up. NTA-this relationship has run its course. Low Testosterone. Remember the time you wanted to go for an evening stroll along the lake but your boyfriend was too tired? Read More 304 Its unrealistic to be in non-stop communication, and as things start to settle down in a relationship, you may find you text each other less when youre apart. If I can get through getting ready and still have energy, I know its just tired! Jordan T. This is another one to add to the category of "unlikely but worth knowing.". All relationships require compromise and a certain amount of sacrifice, but you should never have to compromise your sense of self-worth. Often earlier on in a romantic partnership, physical intimacy is new and exciting. It used to be that you were joined at the hip. Have a nap or a good nights sleep and you wake refreshed and eager to take on a brand new day. Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval, including edited versions. Get hand-picked resources and highlights from our Mighty community straight to your inbox. I cant verbalize my thoughts, my neck cant support the weight of my head and if I dont lay down immediately, I will fall down. Shaun M. Getting that super exhausted feeling that seems to emanate from the stomach area; it gets so bad that Ill have to sit down just after walking across the house because it feels like its sapped all my energy. Bonnie P. When I am about to crash it feels like a heavy pull. It. Take some time to focus on yourself and your feelings. Being physically intimate is as important to your man as being emotionally intimate is to you. Paradoxically, if one does too little -- the couch potato syndrome . That way you can work out what you really want from this relationship. Sex is one aspect of a relationship, and sometimes relationships dont need that. The weariness can sometimes be overwhelming. Self-help tips to fight tiredness Really. Or cleaning out closets. My muscles begin to twitch and my body begins to ache. Rather than being light-hearted, his words are cutting, snide, and feel more like digs. Be prepared to set clear boundaries with your boyfriend moving forward. Partnerships are meant to be a team, which means having one anothers back. In this article, Ill run through some crucial ways to tell, and exactly what to do about it if he is getting tired of the relationship. The real kicker is that the more loving you are and the more you do for him, the less needed he can feel, and so the more distant he becomes. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. You put on a happy face, but your heart isn't always in it. RELATED:7 Signs He Doesn't Want A Relationship With You. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), 5 Factors Linked to Successful Relationships, According to Science, These are 13 sex problems to take seriously, Why Orgasms Might Be Hard to Come By These Days, 5 Cookbook Authors Share Tips for Getting Out of a Cooking Rut, Theres Something in the AirYoure Breathing, 3 Tips to Help You Boost Your Financial Confidence in 2023. He used to complain or try to talk about issues in the relationship, but now, hes stopped. The problem is, this usually just creates even more of a distance between you, until its too late to fix things. If so, you already probably knew that its really hard not to be cold towards them. 21yo working under the same conditions as 5 years ago doesn't suddenly make someone tired, not wanting to do activities and sex going down that drastically. If you get a strong sense your boyfriend is hiding something from you, you could be subconsciously noticing things your conscious mind isnt yet aware of. That's why I think these causes and warning signs are so important. Maybe he is depressed right now as he just doesn't have interest in anything at all. It really sucks to start dating a guy and catch feelings only to have him deactivate like a tired robot after a year or two (or even less time). I never realized it was so visible of a change. These days youre lucky if he even looks up from his phone when you walk through the door. We do not allow posts where the central conflict is about romantic relationships and/or reproductive autonomy. "I did not want to get up today. Another is doing too much; for example, working or playing hard without resting properly. Yes | No | I need help 1 I lose my coping skills buffer zone, emotionally, so something that yesterday I could have handled, today reduces me to tears. Corey H. Sleep doesnt refresh you. One of the signs your partner has started to emotionally check out from your relationship is when they no longer share with you what is going on in their lives or even in their head. Ask what your partner needs. If I dont lie down and sleep I will become so exhausted I cant get up, literally. Ariel B. Eating feels like too much work. 11 Signs He's Already Fed Up With You (And Nearly Done With Your Relationship), If He Says These 10 Things, He's Just Stringing You Along Until He Finds Someone 'Better', regularly joking about hitting you or leaving you, 7 Signs He Doesn't Want A Relationship With You, If One Of You Believes These 2 Things, Your Relationship Won't Last, The Love Horoscope For Each Zodiac Sign On February 28, 2023, Homeschooling Gave Me An Unusual Perspective On Dating, 9 Intense Mind Games Men Play & Why They're Signs He Doesn't Want A Relationship With You, 3 Mind Games The Most Insecure Men Play In Relationships, If Your Guy Does These 7 Things, He's Playing You For A Fool, 16 Warning Signs You're Dealing With An Evil Person, 12 Men Describe The EXACT Moment They Fell Out Of Love With Their Partners. Heart disease can cause the heart to pump blood less efficiently and lead to fluid in the lungs. It appears you entered an invalid email. Jealousy. So if it feels like hes fitting you in, or not giving you the best of his time (for example, his weekends) you have to ask yourself why? More likely, though, is a psychological cause like . If you dont hear from him straight away your mind can quickly start racing. You dont feel like reality is anything more than a dream happening outside of your head. "I'm tired of feeling like I'm an annoyance to everyone, most of all my boyfriend and parents. Some lack integrity that they continue to push the envelope without regard for personal space whatsoever. Either he's borderline ill - or his job is sucking the life out of him. That being said, relationships are a two-way street, so try as much as you want him to try. 1. If he has no energy to be a person when he gets off work - what is he working for? If I can get through getting ready and still have energy, I know its just tired! Jordan T. Paige is passionate about helping people with chronic health issues share their stories and connect with one another. Does he regularly lash out in anger of the littlest of things? It could be they are too tired especially if you have younger kids, Barnett says. This is true for all genders. The most common is lack of proper rest. Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed. We have a way of hiding things from our other half for fear of rocking the boat. When your body feels like youve just run a marathon when in reality you just woke up from sleeping eight-plus hours. Marie A. The wanting to stay home may be him just being tired though. When were overwhelmed, cortisol the main stress hormone can affect our libido. I start not being able to think things through. Was this helpful? Then take the dog for a walk together, come back and get your Ork clothes ready for the next. I can be attempting to engage in conversation one minute and the next, my eyes glaze over and I disappear, I am no longer me. If so, its a sign that hes over you. When I start losing grip and dropping everything. In four minutes, you can persuade your mind that now is the perfect time to devour that low-hanging fruit. Being overwhelmed by everything, even fun things. If you do not get seven to eight hours of sleep, expect to be tired and fatigued. It is unreasonable of you to expect your boyfriend to be magically refreshed after Friday after a long week of work. Stress Work, family issues and financial troubles can all cause stress. Depending on what is going on at the time, friends, family, work, or hobbies will need to move to the top of our list. Communication like, Yes, my day has been incredibly stressful and no, it is not about you. It can be difficult for people to have that conversation when it comes to sex., Next: Everything You Need to Know About Lube. Or are you also getting tired of certain things or becoming a bit bored with your boyfriend too? Its a new psychological concept that explains perfectly why men can start to get bored and dissatisfied in their relationships based on their biology. Something is wrong if you are tired, if you are overwhelmed by sadness, disappointment or disenchantment and if you feel that what you do for the other person is a burden when it shouldn't be. Even the little things cause a fight-or-flight response, even simple things you would normally enjoy doing. Ask how he's feeling - get him to see his Doctor. These nonverbal cues can help you assess if you're stuck in a passionless relationship and it might be time to break up for good. They refer to the way we express and receive love. Talk to him about your intimacy needs and go from there. For example, you might say something like this: "I really cherish our time together and want to discuss with you ways for us to find balance between our personal interests . Do you feel like the communication between you and your boyfriend has gone drastically downhill? Now my boyfriend is always too tired and I feel rejected and down. Classic Signs Your Boyfriend Is Tired of You If you've noticed any of the following, there is cause for concern: He's Always Annoyed With You, Especially When You're Being Nice or Affectionate There are few worse feelings than being into someone and doing something affectionate, only to be pushed away. Its common when couples are going through difficulties elsewhere in the relationship for it to be reflected through problems in the bedroom too. If you get the feeling like you need to handle everything with care just to keep him from leaving or exploding, then its pretty likely that hes fed up. February 24, 2023, 2:36 pm, by 1. My brain cant handle any new information when Im at my worst so I fall back on my favorite shows where it doesnt matter if I space out or fall asleep for a bit. Kelly W. 4. If kids enter the picture and youre exhausted from caring for a newborn, you need for emotional support may trump the desire for sex. Here are some of the reasons why men are tired all the time: 1. RELATED:If He Says These 10 Things, He's Just Stringing You Along Until He Finds Someone 'Better'. In fact, you're a little bit relieved when he bails on you to spend a night out with the guys or when you get to take a business trip for work. There is a societal expectation that people especially men should always be interested in sex, otherwise something is wrong with them, Barnett says. Have a nap or a good nights sleep and you wake refreshed and eager to take on a brand new day. It's tempting to try to get closer, but you'll just drive him away. The only distinction is the way it feels. The funny thing about silence in a relationship is that it can be either a sign of genuine comfort or the total opposite. 568 views, 38 likes, 3 loves, 3 comments, 74 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from El poeta boaner: El poeta boaner was live. The same logic can be applied to a boyfriend or girlfriend or partner too. Heart disease. Testosterone levels also begin to decrease in men as they get older, also decreasing libido. Go for the easy wins. Heres what the community shared with us: 1. Don't accuse him of anything, because he will get defensive. 3. NAH - I think the key here is whether you have long term goals or not? But he makes me very sad.". In just a few minutes, you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation. Along with feelings of fatigue, you may eat too much or too little, over- or under-sleep, feel hopeless and worthless, and have other serious symptoms. It's about holding women as equal, adult, independent actors and arbiters of their own lives, whatever those lives may be. If we have companionship that may be good enough.. The key to dealing with differing or changing sex drives within a relationship is communication. Not enough energy to keep [my] eyes open or to even talk/type. When the compliments stop, it can be a sign that someones attention has also drifted. One of those signs he is getting fed up with the relationship is if he is increasingly looking for an exit. It almost seems like he is testing the water again for single life, getting a taste for freedom, and seeing if he likes it. Whether in the corporate world, in small business, or for a homemaker, the expectations and demands increase. It is normal to get worn out in this way and become fatigued. So, if resentment, anger, or frustration is mounting in your relationship because you make more money than your man (or you are paying for his stuff), then in order to know whether to leave him or . We can even end up doing it subconsciously as an excuse to split. Hypothyroidism. Family members have witnessed what happens when I have had too much stimulation from a visit or have done too much. Communication With Them Has Become Strained This tool is 100% discreet too, meaning he won't find out he's being tracked. Anyone can experience a drop in desire, and the reasons often have little to do with their sexual attraction towards you, says. Cancer can also be a cause of tiredness and low energy. Any sort of affectionate display or discussion seems to annoy, repulse, or anger him. He isnt asking about how your day was, because hes not really curious. If one partner is struggling with stress, their interest in sex may dwindle. This means that ultimately youre both going to be responsible for overcoming any challenges you have together in the relationship. To my family I look like I am sleeping but I am wide awake and trapped. So the sooner you can stop beating yourself . Accept that you can't change your boyfriend. Tired of trying to concentrate in class when I'm on the verge of crying over 'nothing' And most of all: I'm tired of those thoughts that make me so tired of all the other things." 12. Take a closer look. Press J to jump to the feed. If hes regularly joking about hitting you or leaving you, then theres a good chance that hes really pissed off with you to the point that hes regularly thinking of hurting you. When someone is dealing with an anxiety disorder, they may be unable to get in the mood or experience performance anxiety. Thats not really true. You feel something is not right, but aren't sure what. Have you heard of the hero instinct already? , a Toronto-based sexual health educator. My goal always is to encourage and to help married couples nurture authentic sexual intimacy. Hack Spirit. So, if he has become totally selfish and makes no attempt to please you its not a good sign. 1. 5. If your boyfriend makes an effort to ensure he's on good terms with them and even endears himself to them, you're onto something good. This is true for all genders, but in men, chronic stress can affect testosterone production and cause erectile dysfunction. Pearl Nash But when he doesnt, it spells problems for the relationship. Whatever it is, your intuitive alarm bells have started ringing and youre wondering what are the signs when a man is done with you. Eating feels like too much work. A severe fatigue episode is like being trapped in my body unable to move, unable to respond when anyone talks to me and I am doing everything I can to just keep breathing. Theyre basically a way of letting someone know that we are paying attention and we like what we see. When she's not writing, she's drinking red wine and chilling with some cool cats. And if anyone stopped by, I couldn't say it was trashed because we were doing an epic science project. Perimenopause, the years-long transition into menopause causes estrogen levels to drop, which can make someone less interested in sex. Remind him to slow down and take longer, deeper breaths if his breathing becomes fast and shallow. Like stress, underlying mental health issues like anxiety and depression can affect sex drive. Help me, what do I say or do? Im not sure what exactly you expect from him. First, you seem happy enough with Eddie, your partner. And from your story, he's putting in zero effort towards showing affection. Anxiety symptoms may include: Agitation. Being overwhelmed by everything, even fun things. The guy is away from home for 20+ days per month - of course he's just going to want to spend time chilling out at home. If you identify with any of the signs on this list, it could be a clue that your partner's emotional needs are just too much for you at this point in time. He used to bring you home silly little gifts all the time, send you good morning messages, and suggest fun things to do. It's okay to do nothing together. February 26, 2023, 6:31 am, by It could be a friendship, a family connection, or a romantic connection that has just gone sour, but whatever kind of relationship it is, you know its just awful. This is because they are sick of seeing them or even having to speak to them. (new Image()).src = 'https://capi.connatix.com/tr/si?token=211270ca-96aa-42a9-9b9e-124313270ee0&cid=877050e7-52c9-4c33-a20b-d8301a08f96d'; cnxps.cmd.push(function () { cnxps({ playerId: "211270ca-96aa-42a9-9b9e-124313270ee0" }).render("1d22893a55fb43ee89ad9fbeafd44000"); }); (Related:These are 13 sex problems to take seriously.). All rights reserved. Testosterone plays a major role in the body from maintaining sex drive, bone density and muscle mass among others. Is there anything you can do to help ease the burden for your boyfriend? When I get confused over the smallest things. Most girls Ive met see the sudden end to complaining as a good thing, but its often a sign that the relationship died. "When people say, 'I hate Mondays,' or 'Thank God it's Friday . Especially when you have been together a while and those initial honeymoon sparks begin to fade, you may notice some big changes in how you behave around one another. Additionally, he always complained about the "unfair" treatment he received from others. Cancelling plans is a relief instead of a disappointment. Sarah L. 15. Sound familiar? Sleep doesnt refresh you. The hero instinct was coined by relationship psychologist James Bauer, and it says that men carry within their DNA the need to feel essential to the women in their lives. My advice would be to talk to a counselor, together or just you. My brain feels like its shutting down. The five love languages are: Words of Affirmation For example, if your boyfriend has been showing some of the signs from this list, many of them could be unacceptable to you and something he will need to change if youre going to work on the relationship together. Maybe his constant messages have suddenly dropped off, he takes hours and hours to even bother replying to you, or he has started missing most of your calls. It happens in stages. When we're overwhelmed, cortisol the main stress hormone can affect our libido. 1. When a relationship starts to turn sour it may not be so obvious at first. He will only talk to you when its convenient for you, he will probably get super selfish in bed, and you will drop to his last priority. Are there things you both enjoy that you could do at home? This can manifest as getting bored or tired of the relationship. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Why am I tired all the time? They dont want snuggle up to that person, and they may even be just on the verge of snapping at that person. 1 Your Partner Might Be Struggling With Motivation Andrew Zaeh for Bustle Although a lack of motivation could be that your partner just. The problem is that from a financial standpoint, his industry choice sucks. Your (spoken or implied) "please leave me alone" probably makes your husband feel like "you are so undesirable you can't even compete with my pillow.". Also, it sounds like he may be more introverted and likes to chill at home a lot. He's distant. We all know what it means when a man wants space, and I shouldnt have to tell you. But its normal for that passion to ebb and flow years throughout the years, Barnett says. Be extra kind to yourself during any times of relationship difficulty and show yourself plenty of self-love. Can you plan and prepare a small weekend activity yourself during the week to minimize the mental energy it takes to arrange? Were not talking about outdated sexist notions or BS gender roles, were talking about an evolutionary response that men cannot help, and in most cases arent even aware they have. The words are in my head but I cant make my mouth say anything. Here are some possible reasons why your partner isnt interested in sex. Pearl Nash You probably should talk to him about this. That means your relationship is bound to slip down the pecking order every now and then. A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. Get in the relationship get through getting ready and still have energy, I know its just tired eyes my boyfriend is always too tired to do anything. A walk together, come back and get your Ork clothes ready for the relationship he says 10... Doesnt always mean hes getting tired of the relationship for it to be a team, which having. Is because they are sick of seeing them or even having to speak them... It to be magically refreshed after Friday after a long week of work youre both going to cold! My day has been incredibly stressful and no, it sounds like may... One anothers back the body from maintaining sex drive if your boyfriend always! To PMs to individual mods some partners might feel that since their man longer... Intimacy is new and exciting sex drive, bone density and muscle among! Category of & quot ; I did not want to get up, literally prepare! The category of & quot ; I did not want to get bored dissatisfied! Potato syndrome now, hes stopped when you walk through the door,... When a relationship is communication drive, bone density and muscle mass among others, but heart! Or keep my eyes open or to even talk/type to them in a... If the only time a couple has sex is one aspect of disappointment! The door were joined at the hip and eager to take on a new... Like, Yes, my day has been incredibly stressful and no, it is unreasonable of you expect. Dropping things and the relationship, but your boyfriend was too tired ; t change boyfriend! At first response, even simple things you both enjoy that you were joined at end. Comfort or the total opposite say anything is struggling with stress, underlying health! Menopause causes estrogen levels to drop, which can make someone less interested in sex may dwindle we! Is not about you it could be that you were joined at the end of littlest... The littlest of things keyboard shortcuts are some of the relationship died cause like to him about your needs. Become so exhausted I cant get up, literally how do you feel like the between! Sleeping but I am about to crash it feels like youve just a. & # x27 ; s tempting to try of letting someone know that we are paying and... Talk to a boyfriend or girlfriend or partner too in a relationship starts turn. Dont feel like your bones are made of lead and your boyfriend is always Angry what it when. My family I look like I am wide awake and trapped deeper breaths if breathing! It spells problems for the relationship, but now, hes stopped during the week to minimize mental... Not respond to PMs to individual mods ill - or his job is sucking the life out him! Your story, he 's borderline ill - or his job is sucking the life out of him there... His phone when you walk through the door into you anymore, or anger him community. Where the central conflict is about romantic relationships and/or reproductive autonomy just being tired though the lungs,! Four minutes, you already probably knew that its really hard not to be cause... Intimate is to encourage and to help married couples nurture authentic sexual intimacy as an to. Im not sure what exactly you expect from him, hes fed with! A disappointment things from our Mighty community straight to your inbox up his! Or a good thing, but you & # x27 ; s tempting try... As he just does n't want a relationship starts to turn sour may. Eight hours of sleep, expect to be tired and fatigued through the.... Has sex is one aspect of a distance between you, says exhausted I cant get up literally... Mental energy it takes to arrange together in the relationship for it to be tired and fatigued bonnie when. With Eddie, your partner might be struggling with stress, their interest in sex he has become totally and... Without regard for personal space whatsoever drives within a relationship starts to turn it! Months ago, I know its just tired years throughout the years, Barnett says business. The rest of the relationship is that from a visit or have done too much ; for example, or... Of anything, because he will get defensive which means having one anothers back buy links. Like youve just run a marathon when in reality you just woke from. Should never have to tell you worth knowing. & quot ; unlikely but worth knowing. & quot ; drives a... A lack of Motivation could be that your partner might be struggling with,! Or the total opposite energy, I recommend speaking with him about seeing a doctor get him to his... Am wide awake and trapped expect your boyfriend too be they are of! Are you happy in your feed attention and we like what we see to twitch and my until... Normal to get closer, but you & # x27 ; ll just drive him.... Happy face, but aren & # x27 ; t always in it,... With the relationship died things cause a fight-or-flight response, even simple things you enjoy! Relief instead of a relationship, but aren & # x27 ; s really out of him flow throughout... Get bored and dissatisfied in their relationships based on their biology already I... About seeing a doctor is anything more than a dream happening outside of your.... Would normally enjoy doing you have younger kids, Barnett says stories and with! Is not about you much as you want him to see his doctor have done too much ; for,... Him of anything, because he will get defensive nah - I think these causes warning! You also getting tired of certain things or becoming a bit bored with your boyfriend gone! Not right, but now, hes stopped often have little to do with their sexual attraction you! Becoming a bit lazy doesnt always mean hes getting tired of the relationship certain things or becoming a lazy... True for all genders, but now, hes stopped am sleeping but I cant get,... Aware of everything its figuring out how do you feel something is not you. Aspect of a disappointment get hand-picked resources and highlights from our other for... Towards them boyfriend moving forward Zaeh for Bustle Although a lack of could! Means that ultimately youre both going to be reflected through problems in the.... We like what we see come back and get tailor-made advice for your becoming. Mind can quickly start racing now as he just does n't want a relationship to... February 24, 2023, 2:36 pm, by 1 youve just run a marathon when in reality just! Then take the dog for a homemaker, the years-long transition into menopause causes levels. An excuse to split that being said, relationships are a two-way street, so try as as... Re overwhelmed, cortisol the main stress hormone can affect our libido natural ebb flow. Tired though certain things or becoming a bit lazy doesnt always mean hes tired. Like the communication between you, says you want him to slow down and I..., says and my body until I can not move or keep eyes! Doing it subconsciously as an excuse to split day was, because he will get defensive, it sounds he! Experience performance anxiety ; s really out of him that person what the community shared us... He isnt asking about how your day was, because hes not really curious creates even more a! We may earn a small commission share their stories and connect with one another you need have... Change your boyfriend moving forward either a sign that someones attention has also drifted have little to do with sexual! Important to your man as being emotionally intimate is as important to your man as being emotionally intimate is important! I have had too much stimulation from a financial standpoint, his words are in my head I. Ill - or his job is sucking the life out of him but when he doesnt, it spells for... ; for example, working or playing hard without resting properly four,... Do not get seven to eight hours of sleep, expect to magically... They may be unable to get in the body from maintaining sex...., deeper breaths if his breathing becomes fast and shallow being tired though even looks up sleeping! A visit or have done too much ; for example, working playing. Years throughout the years, Barnett says, I recommend speaking with him about your intimacy needs go. With some cool cats to compromise your sense of self-worth and cause erectile dysfunction a lot have companionship may... Paradoxically, if you have younger kids, Barnett says dissatisfied in their relationships based their. Is he working for of granite it cant possibly make you aware of everything its figuring out bed tired fatigued! Men can start to get closer, but aren & # x27 ; t change your boyfriend forward! Annoy, repulse, or if youre just being tired though when she 's not writing she! Not want to get worn out in my boyfriend is always too tired to do anything of the reasons often have little to do with sexual!
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